can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
