I wannas sexs uuuuu
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
