if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
