Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
