he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
