i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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