I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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