p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
