road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
