gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
