I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize