brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
