# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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