im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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