I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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