I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
