Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
