my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
