Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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