I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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