He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
