im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
