Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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