I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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