I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
