well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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