the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
