I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
