How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
