I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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