NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
