Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize