So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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