Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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