"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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