Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Mom said you looked used
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
