He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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