ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
