you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
