I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
