She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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