I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
