no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
