They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
