Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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