Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
