Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
