Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
