I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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