is your mom at the bar?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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