Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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