Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You are the jesus of drinking
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
