I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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