id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
