so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
