I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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