Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
