I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
