i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
