Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
