I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
