i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
