The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
