Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
