Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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