What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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