So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
